It goes without saying that obstacles appear on this wonderful journey of growth that are unpredictable, unknown, and not knowable until you’ve been taken out by them. That is, hard pressed to the ordinary earth where your humble humaness is waiting to receive you. The subtlety of some of these patterns is like trying to sense something that feels invisible and undetectable, except to those who are observing you. One teacher warned, “It is important to have at least three or more people in your life who know you well, who can play the role of lookouts for your ever-smarter ego patterns. As you gain understanding and wisdom on the spiritual journey, your ability to BS yourself is magnified, that is, you’ll begin to buy your own BS while hiding it within the folds of your learned wisdom.  Under stress you will use your gained wisdom with agility and skillfulness to protect your ego, all under the guise of being advanced and wise. You will fool most, especially your fans. But those three or four people can save your life, fiercely saying ‘Dude, you just told a whopper of a story, a great, good-as-fiction spiritual story. Your BS is amazing. You can’t see it but, my friend, you have lost the ability to walk your talk. Self-importance has got your by the short hairs, and you’re now become skilled at performing ‘humility’, performing ‘loving-kindness’, performing essence states.'”

“The question will be whether you will believe those who are your guardians, when they shine light on your delusions. Because once you start hiding behind your learned-wisdom you also begin to assume that you are somehow an advanced teacher, no longer in need of the earthing that real friends can provide.  A cut above the rest of us. Narcissism and pride will enter your thought stream, and where you were once a transmitter of the open heart, a transmitter of genuine humility and gratitude, you slip-slide into the ever-tempting current of vanity and now begin to taste the ego-superiority that’s been trying to crowd in and take your awareness and presence and use it for its own means.” As Mr. Gurdjieff said, you can lose your gains in a heartbeat, while intoxicated on your imagined-spiritual-self. This ‘imagined spiritual self” often can be found right at the doorstep of the deepest transformation, ready to feed you one last glop of ego-infecting vanity-intoxication.”

As my teacher would say, “This happens all the time. The more publicity the teacher gets, the more susceptible they are to this ego-trap. Much easier to go out and inspire audiences than carry on real and conscious relationships with loved ones, who see all sides of you. The crowd sees what it wants to see, and unconsciously wants to be redeemed by simply knowing you. It gives them status. Unless you are hip to this reality, you’ll fall like many often do.”

Gulp.